on leaving

notes on leaving the body

I was thinking about this yesterday
about how survivors say they leave their bodies
and how some people some
professionals
pedants
say that this is a false representation

exactly
I think
they have hit the nail on the head
and they don’t even know it,
I was thinking

when boundaries are defiled
and everything
every means of resistance withdrawn
every covenant and trust is broken

then you scatter
you leave\your body becomes
an oto
a shrine

a shadow vessel
your faint trajectory traced in a memory

...

I shall try to master slowness
I wrote this in a journal of quilt notes

for where does a body gain its rest
lose its corporal tether
join the dream body with itself
if it is all removed

I wrote this in my food journal
chronicling my passage through this life of invisibility
leaving only these small testimonials
of my
return