Monday, September 18, 2006
felted bag two
Here is latest finished project. I decided I need to finish it yesterday because this week is filling up with meetings and other not fun things.The roses are pinned (if they are Too Much, they can be removed and the bag will be more sedate)(And you can pin one onto your denim jacket)on & the handles are from MJTrim.com. The fabric for the lining and ribbon, I bought at Hidreth's in Southampton. The pattern is a Nonibag.
My anxiety level is at about four, the teeth grinding stage. Stage five is pacing about and realizing I need to breathe. This is why I smoked all those years -to facilitate breathing. Stage six is numbness. Seven is not managable-need drugs. I have not gotten to stage seven in years except in bad dreams from which I emerge, not knowing where I am, bathed in sweat, heart racing.Well that has not happened in quite some time.
Tomorrow meeting with special ed committee. Today perhaps I will write a synopsis for the new guy, about what we have been through with the school district for the last several years. Then we will try to fit my round peg daughter into their square peg inflexible irrational arbitrary illegal blah de blah system. I am not hopeful. I just want to get through the day with out another crisis. Hard to imagine for the parent of a bi polar kid: no crisis, no emergency call rom the school, from the kid, from the police station, from the emergency room.
I just want her in school long enough to escape the legal consequences for not being there. I don't give a rat's ass if she aquires their cereal boxed education. It is more than inadequate- it is ludicrously ironic. Enough.
I am sewing like a madwoman, chasing away the rage, making beauty out of small bits of incongruent, mysterious matter. That is art.
Each one of those words can be parsed and books can be written about their meaning and consequence. I don't care. I am an artist. I work with content, only musing on the meaning when I imagine seeing through someone else's eyes. Ah there you have it -another dimension, another impossible dichotomy. Like Twister for the Empirisists.