How to read a long poem

how to read a long poem:

whisper the lines aloud

softly

stop and perhaps reflect 

‘oh my God that is perfect’

read the line again for confirmation

I learned this from hearing the poet 

David Whyte read:

he stopped and reread the lines for emphasis

but softly 

so as not to bang you over the head with it

but to allow you the gift of the moment 

to embrace it

to breathe in its essence

to slow down 

and 

dwell 

there with the writer and 

comprehend, to hear them speak 

to hear them speak

to hear

them 

speak

Rosemary painting, acrylic on paper, collection of rosemary and michael leonetti, 2003

origami sail boat. paper and leaf

Sacrifice

Reading "Feeding the Hungry Ghost" while riding the train.
Asking my brother, 
"Are you a hungry ghost? "

The train lumbers through the outposts of Queens: 
Rosedale. Laurelton. Locust Manor. 

I have this scene in my mind of me pushing all my worldly goods to my dead brother, apologizing for my survival. 
He gives it all back. 

He does not require my suffering. 
His memory does not require my sacrifice. 
I read:
"Anise. 
Chia.
Flax."
"Soy milk and raisins." 

Ingredients in a recipe for vegan seed cake

august poem

A friend can be a crack in the ceiling where you trace the features of a character you once met in a book that you forgot to to return to the library in the town where you once lived where you no longer have an address.

Or a someone on a bus who comes out of their lonely silence to offer you a gift of companionship and you ride together for a while knowing you will likely never see that person again and you will never be in their debt and yet you are grateful 

or the silence itself 

reflexive 

and as deep and 
bottomless 
as a cold quarry pond. 
Deeper than any still water 
and deeper than that. 

You can hear the whistle of your nervous system as it races to complete each thought and you know you are not hearing it all 

nor catching every nuance. 

And then you breathe in and realize you have been waiting for a rush of sound to release you from this crush of waiting. 

A friend could sit there beside you on the boardwalk bench, 

unexpectedly still wet from the condensation of the cool night before 

and wait for you to acknowledge their presence 

Understanding that if you do not know them it is because you are deep in the machinations of your own tangle of thoughts 

Lost perhaps 

And you need 

to find your way home 

before 

you can open your mouth 

to speak 

and august came...

blocks are sewn

housing for friends

some sights

small finish

some water colors

I have been approved to go back to work for two days a week but the paperwork has to be passed back and forth between all of the parties. What a process. 

Writing a lot this summer and lots of doodles. They seem to go hand in hand. I have nothing earthshattering to report. 

May you live in intersting times, the saying goes. Or not. 

I notice there are dried peas on the chair where he sits in a booster seat with straps. A contraption that allows us to sit and eat with his constant toddler motion contained for a bit.  

In the couch cushion are the remnants of the saltine cracker that he crunched up and quietly observed as the bits crumbled and dropped. 

A purple crayon is beneath the ottoman that we have moved in order to vacuum under it 

hoping that the upright will inhale the tumbleweed cat hairs that bounce along the floor 

before he can. 

Several different sized disposable diapers are piled up in the loo. 

And I notice a tiny tube of toothpaste was left behind. The kind that tastes like a Popsicle. He made a disgusted face when we brushed his teeth with adult flavored toothpaste. 

And interspersed with our history tomes and knitting books are books with dinosaurs sporting underwear and mice that want milk with their cookies.

When he goes home with his parents we can hear the clock tick 

He hears a bird and puts his hand to his face in the universal sign language gesture and says 

'hear it? hear the birdies? hear the sound?’)

When he goes home 

we sit in our respective places and search the internet for the meaning of life 

or at least a good deal on shoes.

It is quiet. 

We have cleaned up in his wake 

restoring what passes for order in our home 

and we miss him.

in other news I finished a small painted monogram for Jen  based upon the necklace Jay gave to her for her birthday. The bottom one was the final iteration. For now. 

Process

The hardest part is to decide which fabric to use. I have cut them out using Inklingo's Japanese Spool shape collection and used the combo page so that I can cut five layers at a time. So that part is easy. Then the fun begins: which colors to use. I can spend hours just arranging fabric. I am trying not to go down that rabbit hole and so far I am liking the result. I am arranging the pieces on freezer paper and then putting them aside to stitch later. The system works for me.

June flips her hair and passes by

Work on Alabam Chanin DYI Tunic

Yoga (?) in pool since I still cannot walk 

Mess up knitted lace. Start over

Luke sleeps over. Wears Bailey's specs.

Gets ready for Shark Week

New ride. Love this bike. The forward pedals allow full leg extension and I can dismount  without having to jump down. ( and land on foot.) It is called an Electra Townie 7. And just look at that wide seat. Oh yeah baby. I can ride that for days. 

Mike continues to make me coffee in the morning which is really why I married him. He leaves me a note . to show me where it is. in the carafe. 

Are you Kaftan ready?

I was catching up on thewomensroomblog.com and this catchy title caught my eye. Why yes thank you. I think I will.

not me-pic from thewomensroomblog.com

This fabric was once a bed spread but I think it will do. I used part of it for something else but I can probably wrangle a shortish kaftan out of it. Ttyl.~ m

i crack myself up

so here is the long verson and it resembles nothing so much as a pillowcase. So I did shorten it quite a bit. the whole exercise has been sewing by deduction. It does look better with a shorter bodice as well as skirt but it is still pretty wide. I may leave it as is because it is supposed to be baggy and it is wearable as a beach cover up. . . but I may trim it. in either case it is a finish for the month of June.

Japanese X shapes from Inklingo

FInish 15

I love marimekko fabric and have done ever since I first saw it at the Design Research store in Brattle Square in the 1970's. It may have been my first fabric crush. Decades later, overcome by a wave of longing I searched the internet for a source in NY and found a little store on the second story of a buidling in Manhattan and dragged Mike there to see what I could see. The trip resulted in a purchase of five yards ( that was all they had left!) of  black and white fabric that was intended for the windows in my kitchen. But I was shy.  The fabric lived on alone in its bag for several years until I could come to terms with who I am, and announce my love to all. 

polka dotted seam binding

Some time later curtains were born, lined with some Ikea curtains and trimed with polka dotted Japanese bias tape from Purl Soho. The curtains cover the bottom three quarters of the window which gives us privacy from our neighbor who is right across a narrow driveway and the top is left open for light. I was surpised and pleased that I had any left over. 

Back into its bag it went until.......Kate Davies created her Tea Towel which was a graphic representaion of her sweater designs in black and white. Lovely. I sent for one and it was shipped all the way from Scotland and I had no idea what I was going to do with it but I knew it would never be a dish drying rag. 

It was far too elegant and beautiful.

Kate Davies Tea Towel Knitting Bag showing selvedge drawstring because who does not love a marimekko selvedge?

showing yarn guides and red zipper

Along came a swap in the ravely Knitspot group that I am in, and my swap partner allowed as to how she did like knitting bags from which you could draw two separate strands of yarn without tangling them. And back to the internet I went to find a pattern I could make for her. I found the SockSack pattern by Ramona Rose  on Craftsy which included guides for separate balls of yarn. ok . still here? 

I made two in Kaffe Fassett fabrics because she said she wanted bright summery colors and off hers went in the post, along with some self striping sock yarn because she said wanted some easy mindless knitting and I hear and obey. 

And self striping sock yarn is pretty cool stuff. We also discussed which Anne Hanson sweater we would knit and I began to think I am going to need a bigger bag. 

And then I was struck by a bolt of inspiration and thought wouldn't a bag made with that Kate Davies Tea Towel be awesome ? and then, what should I line it with? At first I was contemplating brights and then remembered that I had the remainder of the marimekko fabric tucked away in the original bag, and would that not be fabulous?

And so it is. 

I may need another tea towel.

June project

  Last winter my quilting mojo became knitting mojo and I barely sewed at all. Well, at least not a lot for me. Since I have been out on disability for my foot I have taken the time to get back into my sewing room. Just a little at first, some new kitchen curtains and a few bags. 

Then I started to work on works in progress, getting a feel for what I need to do to get them done. 

I finished one top, started sewing the strips on another set of blocks that were pinned onto the wall, did some hand quilting on a quilt that I am doing by hand using my beautiful thimble and sewing kit that were a gift from a distant friend. Thread by thread things are progressing and I am using up what I have. 

For a long time, while working and commuting I have been purchasing supplies  for "when I get to it". Mostly that never comes. 

   While I still buy the occasional book and skeins of wool, I have slowed way down on buying fabric. 

Yesterday I decided to start a new quilt project using Inklingo and inspired by Carol Muse Skinners wonderful Japanese X quilt 

Anyone want to join along? 

  I have cut the freezer paper into 13.5 by 8.5 inch sheets in order to take advantage of the combo printing options and I am going to print all of the blocks first. This is new for me. I am taking a page out of Cathi Godwin's blog:) She prints all her shapes ahead of time. This makes sense to me!

My bin of Kaffe Fasset  fabrics is out and ready. I will make my quilt 105 inches square and maybe add a border if I have the inclination. I think I will make matching pillow shams as well. 

So -what are you working on?

I am embracing

failure,

having no prospects.

no burning desires, 

no urgent calling

no purpose.

I do not look my best 

I do not dress to impress

I have no need to win friends and influence people

and I have no plans to change this.

I am stopping to smell the roses

I am being here now

listening to the sound of one hand clapping

Finish 11

This little quilt is backed with plain flannel. There is no batting. The blocks were left over from my aunt Suzy. I stitched them together and added a few to fill it out and there you go. I machine stitched the binding on many moons ago and just now got around to hand stitching it down. It is a nice little Luke sized light weight quilt.

Finish 10.

Top down in the round tee shirt with Tillie Tomas yarn.

Ruminations on who you are

I learned that beauty is not about physical alignment of features.
More so it is about if you can feel the emanations from someone else's heart and that you can get your eyebrows singed by being to near the flame be it a flame which comes from a physically beautiful person or from a body whose physical attributes flaunt convention. It is not the maleness or the femaleness but if you can trust that person to look beyond look through your brand of beauty and be kind to whatever they find there ~ then you travel in life with them for as much time as you are allotted.
Some will travel alone for a very long time and others will have many partners.
The most startling bit is that they are a mirror. And what strikes at you about who they are is nothing greater or lesser that who you are.
When you can be gracious even when someone is practicing evil arts on your reflection then you are earning your own evolution.

meditations

to do list:
breathe in deeply
breathe out
repeat.

praying for willingness.
embrace the vision
imagine the result
be gentle with your self
right after this snack

breathing in

breathing in
there is a neutral colored prius
cruising ahead in the middle lane

it/he/she is driving slower than the traffic in the lanes to either side
and their blinker is on indicating an impending right turn.

you slow,
driving behind them
waiting for them to make the move into the adjacent lane
as the distance between you is lessening

and it seems like you are moving in slow motion
even though you know you could not run this fast
or ride a bike this fast
but if feels like you are moving slower and slower
as the cars on both sides of you are PASSING you
and you feel the blood begin to pound in your head and
you scream silently in your head --TURN ( curse word removed )!!!

the prius maintains a steady speed as the distance between your two cars gets shorter and shorter
and their blinker is still blinking at you
taunting you

until you pass them
breathing out.

Eat the cookie to stem the tide of your grief.

Eat the cookie to stem the tide of your grief.
Even the best wound plans
tangle and knot.
Take the time to meditate on them.
Which way would you go if you were a twisted cipher?
What would convince you to lay down your coil and unbend?

Eat the cookie and contemplate.
The chaos will always be there laughing at your attempt to lay the lines down in an orderly arrangement.
Just eat the damn cookie.