Food is not love
Tho lack is at least indifferent
And violent
Which is not always a contradiction

Food is not love
Though it is life giving and
sustaining, like love,
Necessary, but not fulfilling,
It can be confusing.
You can get seduced in the confusion,
stirred into the same steaming pot.
A lick of swirling goat cheese
melting on a crock
of winter squash soup/a lovers salty sweat...
But I digress.

We deny
Our need
For love
(and it is so impractical.)
It is unattractive, this neediness.
We are enured to its constant call although we pursue it relentlessly.
Not food.
Food is attainable.
Food is finite.
Love is a lack of barriers,
Not boundaries.

finis

Finished Bailey's hat. Pattern is from the above referenced book. This is a user friendly little tome, which has alot of doable hats. Hats were a theme this year.
I will be doing some inklingo printing later today and will be happy to do so. It is nice to have an afternoon to myself.
Regifting has been a hot topic on the WIP yahoo list. Do you regift? is it 'green'? or is it 'cheesy'? and what is the matter with cheese anyway?
I remember as a child receiving great boxes from my grandmother and aunts filled with their clothes and trinkets. Mostly meant for my mother-being adult clothes, but worn by me, in sixth grade, hitched up with safety pins, and I thought I was so cool! Having one or two kind people as friends much mitigated the ridicule of the many.
So I will try to remember the kind ones and ignore the rest. Jody Adams was kind.I have not seen her since I was twelve but I will always remember the her kindness.
And I will miss those boxes.

HohOhhoHoo

Wristies for Jen. These are so cute, I am going to have to make more! I love the sequined yarn.
The Carolina Crossroads went to Alex. Jay and George got a hat. I still need to finish Bailey's hat and Katy's knitted object. We have opened all our presents and will go to visit more people later for dinner.

I think

I will never finish another knitted object. Instead I will come home from work and spend hours on the couch reading knitting patterns on Ravelry....
and then maybe tomorrow I will knit.

Inklinko again or Jane Austen's birthday

I love Linda Franz. I really do. I have never met her, or her husband Russ- nor Monkey, her faithful companion, but I do love her. I love her for her mind. For her perfectionism, which translates into the perfect gem of a software application for quilters-machine or hand piecers. Each one of her publications is a thing of elegance and beauty which soothes my soul.
I have enjoyed poring over the latest addition to her repertoire, The Jane Austen Patchwork, which I bought today in honor of Jane Austen's birthday. I had been yearning for it and today was the perfect gray English damp day to download it and begin to read and print the pages that I want to use.
My biggest dilemna is which color way to choose....I have brights. I have taupes. I have florals and could cobble together a retro scrappy shabby chic...my most likely choice.
If you have never looked at her website, give yourself this gift in honor of Miss Austen. Allow yourself to download the free !!! 4.5 inch LeMoyne Star collection of shapes, just to whet your appetite for genius....I know you must be a little curious.
And, I have finished the Carolina Carolina Crossroads Mystery quilt from Bonnie Hunter's blog. I love Bonnie, too. As much as Linda is precise and genteel, Bonnie is fabulously footloose and fancy free. I am happy to know them both. What Abundance!
Else, Mike's mom, has left for Germany to spend Christmas with the European side of the family who reside there. I have not been much in the mood for festivity. I am enjoying knitting some small gifts. I am not cooking, but will dine at the tables of others this year. It will be nice to see every one.
My Mom's cousin Mary, and her husband Art, decorate (an understatement) their house every year and host a Christmas coffee for friends they have known for decades. This year the theme was angels. I leave you with some of the pictures I took of their wonderful collection. One of them, lol.
It is hard not to be merry at Mary and Art's.

It has been a rough year. My grandmother, Dorothy Neal, passed away this morning. I will miss her.

doll

She is ready to travel.
Dolls are interesting to make. When I make them I think about how intricate we are and how much more complex we are than dolls, and wonder at how we are made at all.
I hope the little girl finds her friendly.

John Henry Bilski Jr, 4.30.1936-11.25.2008

poem for December 2008

It is enough
the refrain I have been cratering in my chest since a few weeks ago when I realized that it will be thirty years next month since you died
It mutters and insists and rubs against my rib cage like a cat. Not a clean sweet smelling animal but a foul breathed feline waiting to jump up onto your chest an smooch with you while you have your morning coffee or your book -or anything to which you would like to give your attention.
And now I am the old one
Sequestered in an imaginary attic spinning filaments of our history into a story that no one else can know. About walking on snow crusted so hard that it held our weight and did not leave an indent of footprints and skating on frozen back yard puddles with double bladed skates buckled onto our shoes and nursery rhymes about kittens with no mittens, spinach that really did make popeye strong, and our parents who would be home when we returned
And it is enough that I have these words spun out into the universe, like an infinite web, hanging from fragments of a life no longer retrievable, even in myth, or frozen tragic acts.
It is enough that I still see you in my skin and the expressions of the children I have raised who never knew you: who do not, and cannot, muster your memory into their consciousness because to them you never existed at all except for some figment of my mind that they had no access to.
It is enough that I know finally that I cannot go back even to some physical space that we occupied together, nor can I ever escape it.
That knowing that while you were once here, ( skating on thin ice ) with me, you are no more by my side
and even tho I keep you in my heart, still breathing the same air that you once drew, you have finally ineradicably gone and without ever meaning to or wanting to I have had to let you go, and I did not realize I was doing so until I already had.
As though to hold on to you meant I could have you back: reel in the filaments that I had spun and pull you back into safety, back to the kittens with sticky tongues and cowboy hats and red twin bedspreads, broken bicycles and barstool visitation.
But it was never so.
And now it is enough. Because it has had to be. Like some magic number has been rendered, a crossroads met, the center of the web is spun and enough fibers have been rearranged and I have amassed enough of my own corporeal weight
to be whole with out you for as much time as I have left
if only to be able occupy this lonely winter planet and try to make some peace, some art and life,
in the universe that still makes no sense without you, and which will be forever unbalanced and beautiful
like a huge icicle that dangles precariously overhead but does not ever come crashing to the waiting frozen earth

cute hat from KidsKnits.com

Another finish!! Mike likes his new hat. This is my first hat, my first stranded knitting project and I like it! Flaws and all. Next time I will not lose the instructions right before I start the decrease.

much ado about buttons

From the ordinary to the sublime, or at least sparkly. Shall I count this as a WIP to cross off my list?
bought these buttons at my for from local yarn store specifically for this jacket, a boiled wool llbean birthday gift from Mike's mom to me. A change in buttons gives a huge lift to this otherwise staid and somber jacket. Maybe I will add some cuffs as well, a ruffle here and there. Maybe not. Would likely clash with my fuscia gloves.
The picture does not do justice to the buttons.The centers are coral, rust and tan, and there are little robins egg blue beads along the outer edge. swoon.

Inklingoing again~in snowflake mode

I am done with my third block, on the right, which I did mainly on the machine, as opposed to hand piecing and I must tell you that the hand pieced blocks came out better. I ran out of diamonds , or misplaced three , or miscalculated when I was printing and had to substitute some other fabric, so this one may or may not make the final cut, whenever that happens. For so many reasons.
I actually think I like to sew together the diamonds on the machine, two at a time, like leader enders, and add the squares and triangles by hand. Or maybe I like the way they look sewn by hand better. I like to see the stitches. It is fascinating to me how many ways there are to do things.
Today I may get around to finishing Mikes hat and the add the tris onto the block and post a picture or three later on if Mike does not decide that he wants to take the train to the city and go to the museum of natural history. Or something. +++not+++thought better of it. Will rest one more day while I can.
for mac users: did you know if you place your cursor over a word-just let it sit there- and hold the ctrl key,and press the click bar, you will get a spelling menu? cool eh?
Ok now I am going to go and sew some things and look up doll outfits for the doll. I hope the lack of enthusiasm for her, if comments are an indication, will not be the same in the recipient. But I will never know!!

Deepak in Time

Good article in time magazine. I am a fan of Deepak Chopra.
I am listening to my body today, which told me to stay off of my foot. In a fairly loud and painful way. So I will stitch and b(&*^h about it. I am tired of being in pain and I guess I will have to go to another doctor. 11 months is enough to be in so much pain. grr.
So i did go the podiatrist and got more xrays and ultra sound which confirmed bursitis as well as a huge bone spur. He gave me a cortisone shot and said I will have to have three more and physical therapy (to retrain the foot how to walk right?) (I have been compensating and unbalanced myself) ( I knew I was unbalanced). He also told me to get a different kind of orthotic and I picked them up on the way home.
And he said not to go bare foot. Ever. Which is entirely opposed to the doctor who told me to go barefoot as much as possible. But not a problem since the floor hurts my bare feet any way.
SO I am hoping for good results. I need for this pain to be over. It is not fun.

doll

Doll (pattern by Oat Couture) is finished except for some weaving in of ends, etc. Now I can move on to some socks. I have named her Esmerelda but her new owner may name her what ever she likes. I still have to make her some clothes. But I think she is rather cute. I may give her some eyelashes but eyebrows made her look too serious, so I unstitched them.
Her hair is wool I spun on a spindle-my first attempt, and it is blue.

Times Square at night

WOO HOO!!!!!

incremental bits

These are the projects on my work bench...the doll is incognito, because she has not got her wig yet, or her head, for that matter.
The snowflake is block number two and I did print out a bunch more-to be worked upon incrementally. I needed to print out the back round bits.
Ping is Pingdigo? because I used indigo instead of the taupes sent by Pinwheels. Just a whim. And I like the result. I have joined Tilde for a thread a day toward finishing. Pumpkin Pecan Pie for dessert!

My birthday!

I just ordered this for my birthday!
After I voted. If you have not voted then please do. I was very disappointed, when talking to some of the young people that I work with, to find that they were not registered to vote. All I can say is what a waste. Actually I could say a great deal more and I am so sorry that I was unable to convince them to exercise their privilege to vote. I am amazed that young, intelligent, educated people are so mired in ennui. Ah well, use it or lose it. My vote is on record.
No big plans for my birthday. Maybe an eclair later on and my daughter Jen said she will stop by. For now I am going to finish my snowflake block! And maybe begin another.

...a thread

Did a couple of threads on Pindingo today--early in the morning. It seems that my internal clock would rather me get up very early than me stay up late. So be it. I will quilt in the dawn rather than the twilight. I am doing the quilting in partial segments rather than all together. I find it easier and more relaxing not to have to wrestle it down before I stitch.

ch ch changes

We swapped ny craft table with the desk in the dining room . Looks much better don't you think? and a good time to vacuum behind everything.
Good news -no pink eye, just allergies, so I can go back to work tomorrow.And more good news, Bailey is hired at New York Historical Society as an intern. Cool, heh?

snowflake block #1

This is such a pretty pattern. I have a bunch printed out in colors from orange to pink and red. Maybe the next one will be fuscia or magenta or persimmon. Inklingo is wonderful. Cathi is already on her fourth block!

Bounty

Rhinebeck was spectacular.
And here is the bounty.
I did not go crazy, but I did pick out a few favorites to bring home. The design of the spindle is Turkish and I dd have a chance to play with it at Mike's dad's house, and in the car on the way home until it got too dark to see, and this morning. The balance is perfect and you disassemble it after you have spun the wool and wound it over and under the flanges, making a small center pull poof that eliminates the need to wind it into a ball from the shaft, as one does from a 'regular' spindle.
Yes Cyndi, those lollipop looking things from the previous post are spindles, used to spin fiber. Before wheels and then industrial type spining machines, all cloth woven or knitted came from fiber spun on one of these doodads. Or something similar.
Watching the border collies was fascinating. It is amazing how they know how to herd the sheep. How do they know that?

Ny Sheep and Wool Fest

A few pictures from the festival for wool floozies..

pigtailsandsnails give away

Howdy
Elizabeth is having a contest to give away this delightful sunflower quilt. Will you enter the contest? I have....who can resist sunflowers?
I am going to the New York Sheep and Wool Festival this weekend! Many sheep will lose their fleeces in the days to come. It will be nice to be there in the autumn chill, maybe buy a couple of hitherto indespensible yarny objects? Objet du Wool?
In the mean time, on the quilty front, there are diamonds being laid out in stripes and squares and snowflakes being dreamed.

Doll House pictures, Bennington Museum

Doll House pictures, Bennington Museum

Inklingoable

I fell in love with this block from Cathi's(Smudge's) blog a few weeks ago and kept a picture of it on my desktop, thinking maybe I would try one some day.
The thing is, with Inklingo is that if you are doing one, you may as well do two or a whole bunch more. So I contacted Cathi and we are planning to print a few blocks from fabric from our stashes and swap them. And after that, probably a few more. And so it goes.
If you haven't heard of Inklingo, it is a program that lets you print directly onto fabric-with stitching lines...way cool. Go to the website and watch a video! Visit Cathi's blog also to see what she is up to using Inklingo. Your curiosity will be piqued. And there is a free sample-what more could you ask? Oh, and yes -you will meet Monkey.***I should mention that I an doing this on my macbook!!