Thursday, February 14, 2013


      My daughter will have two years clean this Sunday. After a long and tortuous adolescence, riddled with drugs and addiction, assaults and bi polar mania, she has turned her life around completely. She has been hospitalized and rehabbed and medicated and  home schooled and therapied and prayed over under and sideways and now she finally has a chance to have the kind of life that I had always wanted for her.
     After dropping out of high school at the age of sixteen, she has gotten her equivelancy certificate and is in her second semester of college. And she has a 4.0 GPA.
     There is so much more --all of the terrible stuff we all went through with her but I do not want to embarrass her. I just want say how very proud we are of her and to offer hope to anyone out there who is in need of hope.
     Miracles can happen. Many of you have offered me prayers and hope and hugs through out the years and I appreciate each and every one of you. Some of you I have never met in person, but you have reached out over the internet to offer kind words and they have been a balm to me. I will be forever grateful to you. Some friends put a distance between us and that was painful but I understand that you did not want to be burdened by my constant stream of talking about it. But that is how I process things and I just needed you to listen. I have moved on.
     Without the love of my husband and the support of my father and Annette, I do not know how we would have made it and been able to bring her through. Michael made it possible for me to stay home and try to save her from herself. I believe if I had been out working for those years, she would have self destructed and my dad and Annette provided financial support that kept her off the street. Because that is where drug additction takes young women and young men, to the street - and that is a much worse recovery. If there is recovery at all.
    But without her own decision deciding to change her life, we would have lost her. While we could provide support for her, we were not the reason she changed. The good people in hospitals and meetings gave her the tools to live and she chose to use them.
    Being clean and sober is not a choice that most young people make. It is not fun to watch other people toast and cheer each other on in a world where inebriation is substituted for community. They meet each other in bars and the big alcohol companies sponsor sporting events. And drugs are everywhere. I don't have to tell you it is everywhere. I have been sober for nearly twenty eight years and even I have twinges of envy some times--that could be me, that sophisticated woman in the advert, raising a glass of --whatever. I need not go down that road.
    For now. I celebrate all of us who chose to be clean and sober. There is sanity in the world and love and communinty. We are all in. Just don't pick up that first _insert substance of choice here_ and you are all miracles. xoxo


Hanne said...

Hugs and even more hugs - for you and all of your family <3 I am so happy to know you!

Bodenseefelchen said...

I'm so happy for you and especially for your daughter. Our nephew is addicted to drugs, it is just awful. All talk and stay away from the family because he has broken already everywhere in the houses. I also had friends who have died from drugs or have himself killed.
I am happy and your daughter can be so proud now she has a real life.
God bless you and your family

Theresa Nance said...

I love to hear the success stories; there are way too many of the failure stories and many too close to home for me, so thank you for sharing your happy with us. You've not said and I've been reluctant to ask. So I'm overjoyed that it's going well for you and your daughter.

Anonymous said...

martha. you have made a lasting impression on me. next to my mother, you're the strongest person i know.
g-d bless you and your loved ones and family. and thank you for your voice.

Pam said...

So very pleased for all of you. Wonderful news

Susan In Texas said...

I'm so glad to hear she has been doing so well; I love to hear success stories like that. Larry will have 9 lovely years of sobriety in September and I bless every one of them. The years before that were hell; taking that first step for real was so hard for him, lots of false starts but it finally happened. I hope you and your daughter have many many more lovely years of sobriety ahead of you. Occasionally I think that I would love to be able to have alcohol in the house for cooking or a glass of wine for me for heart health; he claims it wouldn't bother him, but I just can't bring myself to go there, but that's a small thing. I gave up alcohol to support him long before he did stopped drinking and I don't regret it, or the time he spends at AA. It's so worth it!

One day at a time,
Susan in Texas

lesizmo said...

I just found your blog. I hope it is not too late to make a comment. My daughter went through the same thing. Afterwards, someone asked her, "what was it that made it possible for you to recover?" Her answer was "my parents never gave up on me." She would never say that to us, but the other person reported back to us. That means so much to me. I am sure that it's true in your daughter's case as well.